Locating and Bridging the Success Gap PART 3

Over the past few weeks, we’ve explored the connection between decisions, actions, and outcomes and the often messy gap in between that I call the Momentum Gap.

Part 1 Locating and Bridging the Success Gap focused on how to make higher-quality decisions by building on a strong foundation. (Here is a webinar that focuses on that in detail.) Part 2 (check out the blog here) talked about taking appropriate action in alignment with our decisions so we can close the “Momentum gap” which is the void between knowing what should be done and actually doing it.

Now, in Part 3, we turn our attention to the real test: overcoming the inevitable hurdles that life and business throw at us. Because ultimately, success comes down to personal integrity – the alignment between what we say matters and how we actually show up.

Here is the visual I came up with to help make sense of what the Momentum gap looks like. It’s the area in the middle with the red and green conflicting bubbles.

Remember: Success is a product of the decisions we make and the actions we take.

The quality of our decisions is a result of our FOUNDATION, the column on the left. We can directly influence some of these. Others, we can alter our relationship to through our narrative and lessons learned.

Once we make the DECISION, the messiness in the middle determines whether or not we take the appropriate ACTIONS. That which is in red holds us back, that which is in green propels us forward. This is where the bulk of coaching and accountability happens – improving the foundation, making better decisions with more clarity, and clearing the hurdles to take action. The OUTCOMES follow.

Making higher-quality decisions and then “getting after it” leads to the green OUTCOMES on the right. Stress is both red and green because, as you know, I believe all significant growth happens outside our comfort zones, which means stress. Just like building muscle, we need levels of stress for growth. Taken too far, however, stress can lead to burnout or worse. The other outcomes in red can also be valuable learning lessons. They are, however, generally not the outcomes we are setting out for.

As we wrap this series let’s ask and answer this: How do we overcome the hurdles life and business throw at us?

This is important to examine, as I believe bridging the Momentum gap has tremendous power. Why? It’s a measure of our personal integrity. I would define personal integrity as sameness between stated beliefs and principles and what we do. When we are wishy washy with goals, New Year’s Resolutions, and promises we make to ourselves and others, and then don’t follow through, it chips away at that integrity.

Here are three strategies to help overcome the hurdles

STRATEGY ONE: The CFOs

Attach a “why” to each goal or promise. If we continually connect the reason the goal or promise is important to the goal itself we are more likely to take action even when the going gets tough.
Brainstorm the key actions that we need to employ to accomplish our goal. Write down all the options. No limits here, get the thoughts out on paper.
From the brainstorm, identify and lock in on the CFOs. One exercise I take clients through is a definition of their “Critical Few Objectives.” These are the non-negotiables that must happen in order to move the needle.
Block time for the CFOs. Put them on your calendar and treat them as immovable unless there is an emergency.
Proactively seek accountability to measure results. People don’t like this at first. As a coach it’s what I do – for those that move past ego and discomfort it’s a game-changer. According to psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen, stated goals have only an 11% likelihood of being reached, but stated goals + written plan + accountability to someone has a 76% chance of success. That is easy math.
Listen to the market/results/feedback and make adjustments when appropriate. You know your business. Sometimes we need to persevere and stay the course, other times we need to innovate and course-correct.

If we do this difficult work we will be better prepared for the hurdles and less likely to get distracted.

And there is an x-factor here too. Our level of emotional intelligence.

STRATEGY TWO: Improving Emotional Intelligence

There was a leader I worked with years ago who had so many great qualities. Her effectiveness was hampered, though, because of her inability to be the calm in the storm when hurdles presented themselves. I wish I’d had the opportunity and time to work with her on this, because it can absolutely be learned. Leadership is not devoid of emotion, of course not. The best leaders, however, regulate their emotions and don’t lose control. They understand when to turn up the volume on something and when to be the calm and collected presence that makes better decisions. Unregulated emotion often leads to regret, fractured relationships, and creates more friction than necessary.

First, I will share a great practice if you find yourself emotionally elevated, and second, I will share ways to better prepare in advance.

This is a protocol I learned from Dr. Andrew Huberman on Huberman Labs podcast, the physiological sigh:

The Technique

Two inhales through the nose, followed by one extended exhale through the mouth:

First inhale (through nose): Take a deep breath in, filling your lungs to about 75-80% capacity
Second inhale (through nose): Immediately take a second, shorter “sip” of air through your nose to completely fill your lungs to maximum capacity
Long exhale (through mouth): Release all the air slowly and completely through your mouth in one long, extended breath

Why It Works

The physiological mechanism:

Reinflates alveoli: Your lungs contain tiny air sacs called alveoli that can collapse during stress or prolonged periods without deep breathing. The double inhale helps pop open these collapsed air sacs
Offloads CO2: The extended exhale efficiently removes carbon dioxide from your bloodstream, which directly calms your nervous system
Activates parasympathetic response: This breathing pattern rapidly shifts you from a stress state (sympathetic) to a calm state (parasympathetic)

When to Use It

During moments of acute stress or anxiety
When you feel overwhelmed or panicked
Before important conversations or presentations
Anytime you need to quickly regain composure

Key Points

You can do just one or two cycles and feel the effect immediately
It’s a natural reflex – people spontaneously do this when crying or after holding their breath
Takes only 5-10 seconds to complete
No special training or practice required – it works the first time

This is distinct from other breathing exercises because it’s designed for immediate stress relief rather than meditation or long-term practice.

When we lower our stress and emotional response, we are in a better place to make decisions and exhibit the executive presence to maintain credibility.

As for long-term practice, this is also great to include as part of a strong Morning Kickstart, which you knew I was going to bring up as a longer-term plan to reduce our over-the-top emotional responses. Here are a few examples of things to do to in the morning to set our days up for success:

Prayer
Gratitude practice
Meditation
Positive reading
Affirmations/self-talk
Visualization
Random acts of kindness
Exercise

I have helped people develop Morning Kickstarts from 30 minutes to an hour depending on season of life and family obligations. It’s a little different for everyone.

STRATEGY 3: Cultivate Resilience

Pick your favorite quote, they all paint the same picture. Success and resilience are connected and almost never decoupled:

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” — Nelson Mandela
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” — Thomas Edison
“Champions keep playing until they get it right.” — Billie Jean King
“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” — J.K. Rowling

When hurdles to our success appear, if we have CLARITY around what matters most, a STRATEGY to improve our emotional intelligence, and an understanding of RESILIENCE as it relates to success we are far better prepared to overcome those hurdles and WIN!

What will you do to improve in this area?