The Customer is Often Wrong (Not Always Right)

THE QUESTION

Do you believe the customer is always right?

Stay with me on this. If you are afraid of being classified as ‘too salesy,’ you might bail out too soon. What I am going to uncover for you is a path to providing better value — and getting to what actually makes the most sense for your customer. In other words, we need to provoke the way our customers think and how they view the challenges they face in getting from Point A to Point B.

Helping them through this is more customer-focused than simply assuming they are ‘always right.’ In fact, sometimes the most valuable thing you can do for a customer is to respectfully show them where their thinking might be costing them in terms of time, money, and overall quality of life.

THE QUOTE

“Instead of probing for what clients think they might need, identify a thorny issue in their company or industry and develop an original, compelling point of view about it — one that reframes the problem in a jarring new light.” — Philip Lay, Todd Hewlin & Geoffrey Moore — Harvard Business Review, “In a Downturn, Provoke Your Customers” (March 2009)

This is the essence of what they call provocation-based selling — the idea that the best sales professionals don’t ask customers what they want, they help customers understand what they should be focused on to make better decisions. That’s not manipulation. That’s expertise in action. Especially when you invest the proper time and resources into knowing your customer.

THE STORY: THE TALE OF TWO SALES APPROACHES

I have worked with hundreds, if not thousands, of sales professionals. Some will do anything and everything to avoid being classified as a salesperson. Listen here — we are all in sales to some extent. You too, operations. You too, IT. And definitely you, marketing!

The question is: are you truly aiming for the heart of what matters most to the person you are trying to influence? Are you doing it consistently, with high levels of professionalism, in accordance with the golden rule?

If so, you should be proud of your position and industry.

One professional I worked with was such a sweetheart. She really took the time to get to know her people. She asked great questions, truly cared about the answers, and invested dozens of hours with each client to whom she was showing property. I noticed a pattern though. Her clients were slow to make decisions, and in some instances unable to make them at all.

On the other side of the pendulum, there are some who are simply trying to rush people to make a rapid decision without taking the time to get to know them. If this is your MO, none of this content should be put to use. We are not in the manipulation business. We are in the problem-solving business.

The type of sales that should be avoided is using people to get what you want, instead of using your knowledge and expertise to solve real problems for real clients. Think about it — the best sales professionals I have ever trained and worked alongside weren’t order-takers. They were educators. Advisors. Problem-solvers who weren’t afraid to say, ‘I hear what you’re asking for, but let me show you what you might actually need.’

That last sentence – you have to earn the right to say it.

THE HUMOR (BECAUSE WE ALL NEED IT)

As for real estate sales, I hold the record for the shortest Listing Consultation in history. It was in 2008, and I was really starting to make business happen, although still needed some work on my skills. I walked into a home, set my briefcase down, and before we could even get past the introductions the owner said, “This home will be listed at $500,000. If you can’t get me that price, we have nothing to talk about.”

I picked up my briefcase, shook his hand, and wished him luck. I was in the home for maybe 2 minutes.

What should I have done? Keep reading.

In the meantime, here’s a quick gut-check. Ever had a client tell you, ‘We’re just not ready yet,’ while simultaneously complaining that everything is costing them more money, time, and stress? And your internal response was something like: ‘Uh… yes. That’s literally why I’m here.’

Classic. The customer wasn’t always right. They just weren’t ready to hear what they needed to hear. And maybe — just maybe — you hadn’t yet asked the right question in the right way to help them see it.

Sales discomfort is real. Customers will often tell you ‘we’re not ready’ when what they actually mean is: ‘I’m afraid this is going to pressure me into something I don’t need.’ Your job? Eliminate the pressure, not the truth.

THE RESEARCH: FOUR REAL-WORLD SCENARIOS WHERE THE CUSTOMER IS GETTING IT WRONG

Let’s make this practical. Here are four scenarios where provocation-based selling — paired with great questions — can transform a transaction into a trusted relationship.

1. Real Estate: The Pain of Waiting in a Fluctuating Rate Environment

A buyer tells you: ‘We’re going to wait until rates come down.’ Sounds reasonable, right? But let’s unpack it.

Ask them this: ‘If rates drop from 7% to 6% but home prices rise 8% in the meantime, are you actually better off?’

Then walk them through the math. A $400,000 home at 7% vs. a $432,000 home at 6% — the monthly payment may be similar, but they’ve lost $32,000 in equity before they even get started. The cost of waiting isn’t just time. It’s real money left on the table. And that’s before you factor in the rental payments or other opportunity costs they’re racking up in the meantime.

“The pain of waiting is often more expensive than the pain of buying. Help your client see the full picture — not just the interest rate headline.”

Great question to provoke their thinking: ‘What is your waiting actually costing you each month in rent plus missed equity growth?’ Let the number speak for itself.

And most importantly, what is the life decision cost? Are they moving closer to grandkids? Trying to relocate for a job? Downsize because of stress? Make more room for family? Experience the joy of ownership? These decisions go far beyond dollars and cents.

You are not here to predict the future. You are here to describe the current environment relative to their personal decision. Who the heck knows what will happen tomorrow? Answer – no one.

2. Marketing: The Pain of Choosing Cheap Over Effective

A business owner tells you: ‘We went with the cheaper marketing materials. They’re fine.’ Fine. Not great. Fine.

Here’s the provocation: ‘If your marketing materials are sending the wrong signal to your ideal client — before they ever speak to you — how many clients are you not even getting the chance to talk to?’

There is an enormous hidden cost to low-quality marketing. It’s not just aesthetics. It’s first impressions, credibility, and conversion rates. A cheaper brochure, a poorly designed website, a generic social media presence — they all whisper to potential clients: ‘We don’t take this seriously.’

The math they’re missing: If high-quality marketing costs $5,000 more per year but converts even 2-3 additional clients, most businesses are looking at an ROI that blows ‘saving money’ out of the water.

“The most expensive marketing you’ll ever do is the cheap stuff that doesn’t work.”

Great question to provoke their thinking: ‘What does your marketing communicate about you before a client ever picks up the phone?’

And sticking with our real estate them, what does the cheapest option out there convey about the quality of the home you are selling?

3. Coaching & Consulting: The Pain of One-Size-Fits-All Solutions

(Full disclosure: shameless plug incoming — but bear with me, because the principle applies universally.)

A leader tells you: ‘We hired a big consulting firm. They have a proven system.’ Terrific. But here’s the question worth asking:

‘Did they spend meaningful time understanding your specific culture, your team dynamics, your market, and your goals? Or did they hand you a binder that looked exactly like the one they gave the last ten companies they worked with?’

One-size-fits-all coaching and consulting is the business equivalent of a doctor prescribing the same medication to every patient who walks through the door. The diagnosis matters. The relationship matters. And the ongoing accountability — not just the initial engagement — is where real growth happens.

“A proven system applied to the wrong problem is still the wrong answer. Great coaching starts with great questions, not great templates.”

Great question to provoke their thinking: ‘How is your consultant or coach held accountable for your results — not just their deliverables?’

4. Real Estate (Sellers): The Pain of Holding Out for a Price the Market Won’t Pay

A seller tells you: ‘We’re not budging on price. Someone will pay what it’s worth.’ Maybe. But let’s do the math together.

Here’s the provocation: ‘Every month your home sits on the market, you’re paying carrying costs — mortgage, taxes, insurance, maintenance, and potentially a second set of living expenses if you’ve already moved. At what point does holding out for an extra $20,000 cost you more than $20,000?’

The hidden math of holding out:

$2,500/month in carrying costs
4 additional months on market = $10,000 in costs
Price reduction eventually happens anyway = another $15,000 lost
Total cost of ‘holding firm’: $25,000+ — and you didn’t even get the price you wanted

And that doesn’t account for the opportunity cost of the capital sitting in that home rather than being deployed into their next purchase, investment, or life goal.

“The seller who ‘holds firm’ and loses often loses more than the seller who prices smart and moves fast.”

Great question to provoke their thinking: ‘What is each additional month on the market actually costing you — in dollars, in stress, and in missed opportunity?’

Work this out with them, I can give you the form just shoot me an email or DM.

THE SOLUTION: ASK QUESTIONS, BUILD RAPPORT, PROVOKE THINKING

So how do you actually do this — provoke your customer’s thinking without coming across as pushy, arrogant, or dismissive of their perspective? It comes down to three things:

1. Ask Great Questions With a Passionate Intent to Understand

From my book, One to Grow On, here’s a principle I’ve lived by for years: ask questions to listen and understand — not to respond. There is wisdom in the old saying that we have two ears and one mouth for a reason.

Open-ended questions are your best tool:

‘Tell me about where you are right now — what’s working and what isn’t?’
‘What would have to be true for you to feel confident moving forward?’
‘What does staying in your current situation cost you over the next 12 months?’

The goal is to guide your customer to their own ‘aha’ moment — to see the cost of their current path clearly enough that the decision to move forward becomes obvious. That’s not selling. That’s serving.

2. Build Rapport Before You Build the Case

The seven-step influence process I teach — Preparation, Energy, Connection, Value, Commitment, Expectations, Persistence — puts connection before building value and asking for commitment. Some sales trainings are trying to switch this around and “get right to the point.” Caution! If you skip the relationship-building and go straight to the provocation, you’ll come across as a know-it-all rather than a trusted advisor. A pushy salesperson instead of a consultant.

Energy matters enormously. Bring confidence, gratitude, and genuine empathy. Read the room. Not everyone responds to high energy. But everyone responds to someone who actually cares about their situation.

The formula that has served me well across thousands of sales interactions:

“Attitude + Acumen + Action = Results. The best salespeople have all three. But attitude always comes first.”

3. Remove the Pressure, Keep the Truth

Here’s a line worth memorizing: ‘I work with clients who are ready today and clients who will be ready in six months. My job is just to make sure you have all the information you need to make the best decision for your situation.’

That line does three powerful things:

It removes sales discomfort by eliminating urgency pressure
It positions you as an advisor, not a closer
It keeps the door open — and keeps you in their mind when they ARE ready

And then — this is the ‘Plus One’ philosophy I live by — do one more thing than expected. Follow up with a personalized note. Send them the math you ran during your conversation. Check in 10/20/30 days later (whatever appropriate), no pitch, just value.

The customer who wasn’t ready today becomes the client who calls you first when they are.

THE POINT

Sales done right is influence through education. It’s not about manipulation, pressure tactics, or convincing people to buy things they don’t need. It’s about being knowledgeable enough about your product, service, and market that you can help people see their situation more clearly than they could on their own.

The customer isn’t always right. But they deserve a professional who respects them enough to help them get it right.

Provoke their thinking. Ask great questions. Build real rapport. And deliver a little more than they expected every single time.