Bring this to mind to get your energy right before every meeting.
How do you show up for meetings? Presentations? What is your process for preparation?
Do you focus only on what you will say or do? What about HOW you will show up?
Let me explain.
Your Pre-Meeting Energy Matters More Than You Think
Some focus strictly on expertise: planning, tactics, strategy, process, negotiation and debate skills – the WHAT. This is all great. By the way, some don’t focus enough here. You should be well-prepared by reviewing agendas, gathering information, getting answers to some questions before the meeting, researching. Thinking of more questions to ask. Thinking through options. I spend a great deal of time coaching leaders and sales professionals on their meeting and presentation processes. This is the credibility and expertise side of the equation. That’s not our focus for this blog.
The Character Side of Success
What about HOW you show up? The character side of things.
Step #2 in my sales process is get your ENERGY right. (Step #1 is Preparation. You can read about the full process as it relates to real estate sales HERE and download a free resource HERE).
For you mega-extroverts, you need to be careful here. You too, if you are a strong introvert. For the extrovert, not all scenarios call for grandiose hand gestures, charm and charisma. These are not bad things, but it can hurt you with some personality types and in some scenarios it can be inappropriate. For introverts, you may be seen as too passive, stand-offish or aloof or fearful if you don’t up your volume a bit.
So, there is guidance out there on becoming a chameleon and trying to “match” or “mirror” the style and personality type of the person you are talking to. This may work for some, especially when it happens naturally as part of the rapport building process. If it is forced, it becomes obvious and can turn someone off. Let me offer a way for you to be your authentic self yet show up in a way that will be appreciated by all personality types.
Before You Walk Into Any Room, Think G.R.A.C.E.
It’s called G.R.A.C.E. I want you to call this acronym to mind before any meeting you are a part of. If you show up this way, you can be yourself and better connect with anyone regardless of personality type. You will be ready for the sale, to share the important observation in the meeting, to lead a team to great outcomes, and even create a better environment for your family around the dinner table. You will build trust and influence.
Start With Gratitude
Gratitude: When I am in the front of a room speaking to a group, I always lead with gratitude. It sounds like this, “You have a lot of choices on how you spend your time. I’m grateful you chose to invest some of it here today. I’ll make sure you get a return on that investment.” When you show appreciation for people, they will tend to like you more! This sounds obvious, but think through some of the meetings you’ve been involved in, or if in sales think back to your last call or appointment. Did you express appreciation for the opportunity to lead, to be involved, or to have an opportunity to make a sale? You can be appreciative even if the meeting or consultation is going your way. You can appreciate someone else’s opinion, there perspective, their passion. Look for ways to communicate your gratitude in a meaningful and truthful way. In other words, don’t fake it if you don’t mean it. Figure out a way to mean it.
Taken too far: Gushing over this too much will reduce your status and may even come across as phony.
Be the Reasonable One in the Room
Reason: Have you ever been in a meeting or working on a sale and you are dealing with someone who is unreasonable? Yeah, me too. It’s the worst. So, don’t be that person. Even if others are being unreasonable, you will earn respect and trust if you maintain emotional stability and stay focused on the agenda and goal of the gathering. If someone is stomping their feet in a meeting to get their way, yet you believe there is a better path, ask some questions like:
- “How did you arrive at that opinion?”
- “What research did you do to lead you to that conclusion?”
- “Have you considered other courses of action?”
- “You seem upset, is there something about others’ perspectives that causes you stress on the matter?”
- “Do you have experience in executing a project like this?”
Make sure you go through the entire acronym, because while we want to cut through emotion to get to the best answers, we don’t ignore others’ emotions. See “E”.
Taken too far: Being completely devoid of emotion will have you looking like a robot.
Stay Flexible Without Losing Yourself
Adaptability: This one took some work for me. I remember leading a company through a time of uncertainty and disruption. There were some decisions that needed to be made quickly. Ideally, the leadership team would bat around some of these decisions and arrive at some sort of shared ownership of them. Frankly, there are a couple of meetings I wish I could do over. Be careful if you have a strong vision and ideas on how to get there. I ended up plowing through some key decisions and dragging people with me in some scenarios when it would have been better to slow down and get buy-in.
Clearly that is always the goal, however sometimes it’s hard to practice when convinced of the path forward and when agility is critical. Let’s call it what it was – I was stubborn, and that is not a characteristic you want to be known for in meetings. Be open to other opinions, remember the ultimate goal is the best version of whatever is being discussed. Separate yourself from whatever version of outcome you are hoping for, and collaborate to get the best answer.
Taken too far: Waffling and indecisiveness. Stay true to mission, vision, and principles. Don’t waver on these things.
The Line Between Confident and Cocky
Confidence: This is the biggest differentiator between great and good. All things being equal, confidence wins. Hey, even if some things are unequal, confidence still may win. Here’s my discernment between confidence and cockiness- confident people can back it up. Cocky people are limited in substance and foundation. If you are new to a sales role, or a first-time participant in a meeting, we need to elevate your confidence as rapidly as possible. We do this by helping you with a creating a process you can go through every time you are gearing up for a meeting, including a specific method of preparation, and then getting you some reps through practice before you are in the moment.
Taken too far: Puffery and chest beating. Be humble in your confidence.
Empathy Is Your Influence Multiplier
Empathy: Another X-factor in developing deeper relationships with people. I hear you. I get where you are coming from. Stephen Covey said it like this, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Consider this modification, “Seek first to understand, communicate your understanding, then to be understood.” For success in sales on the character side of the equation, empathy plus confidence will have you crushing it. As a leader, empathy will help you retain your key people and motivate your staff.
Taken too far: Compathy, which means you actually take on the emotions/stress of others. This can damage your health if this happens with you too often. I have personal experience with a family member that has this challenge.
Show Up With G.R.A.C.E., Win With Influence
Again, this is the HOW you show up, the character side of things. If you are bringing great skills and expertise, asking great questions along the way, and solving problems for people, you are a force to be reckoned with. Showing up with G.R.A.C.E. will allow you to attend and conduct meetings and consultations in a GRACEful way!