One of the questions I consistently ask of myself and of clients: “What have you done differently over the past week?” Or maybe it’s been a month.
Quick reminder from last month: We talked about getting brutally honest about the gap between your current reality and your definition of success. We gave you the tools to measure that gap (check them out in Part 1 of this blog). Now it’s time to close it.
If you’re like most people, you read it, nodded along, maybe even took some notes. But here’s what separates those who actually close their success gap from those who just think about it: they move from insight to action.
That’s what we’re tackling today.
Avoiding Quick Fixes and Shallow Growth
We are constantly bombarded with messaging and distractions from hundreds if not thousands of sources. The next hack or quick fix for pretty much any area of life. This is where I will continue to push back and go deeper on topics because that is where real growth happens.
A quick playbook would be: Absorb content > Make better decisions in alignment with your values > Take action > Learn and adjust.
This requires introspection and quiet time to think. And then, the courage to move in the direction of the better decision.
The Success Equation
Remember the key point: Success is a product of the decisions we make and the actions we take.
- Bad decision + misaligned action = aimless wandering
- Bad decision + aligned action = move farther away from success (or worse)
- Good decision + continuous misaligned action = guilt and regret
- Good decision + aligned action = success and personal integrity
A Real-World Example
Say you decide you want to be healthier – that’s a good decision. But then you sign up for the most intense and advanced weight training program you can find when you haven’t worked out in years. That’s misaligned action with a good decision, and it’ll likely land you injured and further from your health goals than when you started. However, if you evaluate and correct the action into something more manageable, you now have a good decision with aligned action, well on your way to success.
Perfectionists beware, this does not mean you will get the decision and the right steps dialed in out of the gate. Often we need to evaluate and course correct as we go, but the point is clear: we don’t know until we decide and then do.
When I was early in my real estate sales career, I was moving from a role and position where I had it down. There was a great team in place, I knew my job, I worked hard, I was a go-to because I had great knowledge of the business. Real estate was brand new to me. I was in my late 20s, and moving into a realm where I knew very little. This was in some ways a blessing and others a curse.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect
Have you ever heard of the Dunning-Kruger Effect Curve? I talk about it in my book One To Grow On. Here is a simple image:
This happened to me when I transitioned into real estate and I see it often when I’m coaching someone into a new leadership role – we don’t know what we don’t know so we go in with high expectations for ourselves and our performance. As we get to the peak of “Mt. Stupid” we realize that anything that is of substantial reward is hard work and comes with great challenges. Since our early expectations weren’t met, our confidence and self-worth can tumble into the “Valley of Despair.” If that happens, please hear this! You aren’t done yet. Look at what comes afterwards, the ”Slope of Enlightenment.”
This cycle can happen early in a new role, a change in industry, or even after a market shift where new skills and approaches become necessary.
In real estate, I realized my actions weren’t aligned with my decisions, or my goals. I needed to do things that would take me outside of my comfort zone, like calling on Expired listings and For Sale By Owners, stepping up my market knowledge, perfecting my consultation skills. Doing these things in alignment with my goals rapidly sent me to the top of my company in sales (well, #2 to be precise) and launched a career that would allow me to lead and influence sizable real estate companies. If I had never stepped out of my comfort zone, it would be unlikely I would have brought my corporate career to a close as the CEO of a 500 agent and 50 staff company.
Three Hard Questions for Self-Reflection
The breakthrough came when I stopped making excuses and started asking myself the hard questions. For effectiveness, I’ll share just three examples here – questions that will show you exactly where you’re getting in your own way:
- What is one thing you are doing right now you know you should do less of or not at all?
- What is one thing you aren’t doing you know you should start doing or do more of?
- What is stopping you from reducing the time spent on answer to question 1 and replacing it with answer to question 2?
Now, if we are real – there is answer to each of these questions. Something popped into your mind and you either dealt with it and wrote it down or chased it away if you didn’t like the answer.
This is where successful people will do the hard work.
Let’s look at a young leader’s potential answers to these question. He knows that one of his Critical Few Objectives is getting face to face individually with his leadership team at least once per month. He knows he should do consistent one on ones yet gets too busy with the day-to-day operations where he is more comfortable. Those one on ones sometimes make him uncomfortable so they consistently get rescheduled or cancelled. Here is what Jeff Olsen’s Slight Edge Curve might look like for him:
Olsen correctly reminds us that stacking proper habits each day and week doesn’t seem like much early on but over time will work for you or against you. The red and green lines are very similar at first, yet will grow farther apart as the compound effect takes over.
Put your answers on your own chart. Too much Netflix and not enough quality family time? May not seem big now but what if it compounds and then next thing you know you are staring at divorce paperwork and wondering how you got there. Or your kids get so wrapped up in fantasy worlds and struggle with reality and don’t talk to you when they could really use your guidance.
Applying This to Your Own Life
What if you added in some dedicated time with your spouse or your kids and reduced that wasted time by even just 20%? What might that mean for your curve?
This stuff isn’t easy. But, it’s worth it.
And, me too! There are two areas where I am reducing time on habits that don’t serve me and adding those that do. One is personal and has to do with my faith walk, the other is how I manage my professional schedule and adding more time for speaking engagements. I always want you to remember I walk the talk along with you.
What is it for you? Personally? Professionally? Cut down on the cookies and add a bit of exercise? Stop jetting for the door when it’s closing time and make that extra call or send that email? Stop phoning it in and really listen when your loved ones talk? Go to church? Less time on social media? Less soda and/or alcohol?
And then, what is something you can do about it consistently. Even if just a little bit at a time, that over time, might make all the difference?
Next up – Part 3: The Hurdles